We recently had the privilege of speaking with Gary and Kelly Wilkerson about their story — from how they met as teenagers, to their struggles with their own kids dealing with addiction.

Their testimony is a powerful example of holding on to your faith in the face of addiction. They shared that all four of their children faced addiction at some point in their lives, including a child who struggled with heroin addiction while living homeless on the streets. Despite the pain and heartache, Gary and Kelly held onto their faith and trusted in God’s plan for their family.

If you’re reading this today and you have a family member who is lost and feels out of reach, we hope to encourage you today by sharing some of their wisdom and experience. Here are five things to remember as you’re facing a seemingly impossible situation with loved ones:

Embrace Your Limitations: Gary emphasized the importance of surrendering control to God, “Our miracle came more in us first, and then in our kids,” he recalls.

The Lord reminded him of Moses’ mother and the choice she made in Exodus 2 to protect him from being killed. She had no hope of her son’s survival, let alone his salvation. So she put him in a basket, relinquishing Moses to God’s care, “So we just put our sons and our daughter emotionally and mentally in a basket, and just said, God, it’s no longer in our hands. We’ll pray, we’ll be here for them if they need us, we’ll encourage them, but we’re not going to be the helicopter parents hounding over them.”

Sometimes, we need to let go and trust that God has a plan for our loved ones, even when it seems hopeless. Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up; it means allowing God to work in his way and time.

Find People to Join You in Prayer: It was so important for both Gary and Kelly to rely on the support of other believers. They encouraged reaching out for prayer and support during difficult times. Don’t isolate yourself; allow others to stand with you in prayer and encouragement.

Kelly remembers, “I had to just lay aside [the] pride that I had and said I have to have people join with me in prayer … I remember even sending little messages out to SoCal Teen Challenge. It was like, ‘Please pray with us.’ The response was always so genuine and kind of fortifying and bolstering of my faith to know that people here were praying.”

Guard Your Mind: Kelly shared the power of guarding our minds against negative thoughts and fears, saying, “I had to really discipline my mind. If my brain would get off on the spinning wheel of, ‘Oh, they’re gonna OD today, they’re gonna OD today,’ I was like, ‘No, no, now stop it. Right now in Jesus’ name.’ That thought is coming down because it’s disobedient to Christ.”

She used the power of prayer and Scripture to combat these thoughts and focused on God’s faithfulness and love for her children.

Cling to Faith: There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with addiction in families. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our loved ones may continue to struggle. It’s crucial to maintain unwavering faith in God’s goodness and sovereignty, even when circumstances don’t align with our expectations.

“Two of our closest friends, two different couples, lost their kids to addiction,” Gary adds, “So there’s this whole question of, ‘Why?’”

While we’ll never know the answer to that question, we can look to others in the Bible whom God allowed to suffer — Job being a primary example, “It all came down to, ‘Though he slay me, yet I will trust in him.’ This was after he lost all his children. And so we trust him, believing for our kids, and we want to encourage everyone to believe for your kids and believe without fear.

“At the same time,” Gary continues, “there’s a level of trust in them now that they didn’t have before that … Their miracle was even though they lost their children, God showed them grace and faithfulness and miracles took place. Both of their funerals had multitudes of salvations of people. So what if you had faith to believe God is good, no matter what storms and difficulties you went through?”

Build on Your Marriage and Friendship: Gary and Kelly’s strong and loving marriage played a significant role in their ability to weather the storms of addiction. Gary emphasized, “It’s just the kindness of God that has allowed us to be deeply in love all these years. We haven’t had seasons where we were horribly at odds. We’ve had arguments like every marriage has, but we have fun together.”

Being friends, preferring each other, and investing in their relationship allowed them to support each other through difficult times.

You are not alone in this journey. Even in the midst of every fear you have, every worry you harbor, and every pain you feel, God is with you, and Teen Challenge is here to encourage and support you. God loves your family more than you could ever imagine, and no matter the circumstances you face, he is in control.